I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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