My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
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why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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