Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My ATM looks so different sober.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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