i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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