I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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