suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
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It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
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You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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