you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
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I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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