my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
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