I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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