Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
birth control should be required to get into college
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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