Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize