If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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