hell yes lets make some ravioli
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize