they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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