I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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