I think I died a long time ago.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize