TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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