Do you still have your period?
I met the friendliest cop last night
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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