hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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