just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
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If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
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It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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