It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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