My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
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with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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