Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize