i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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