he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize