So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize