8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize