You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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