she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize