Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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