NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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