zippers are such a cool invention
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize