Pappa wants mamma naked
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
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woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
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Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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