I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
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In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
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I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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