forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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