The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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