She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize