I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize