This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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