it's not cheating when I paid for it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm sobbing to NWA
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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