he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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