he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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