Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
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its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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