Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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