Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
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its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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