I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize