i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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