you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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