Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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