the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
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My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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